And he's finally back. It's been much too long, I've missed you all. And the feeling of getting lots of views when I first make a post. But I've missed you all more. Definitely.
We're back today with a more serious talk about the future because it's been stressing me out a lot lately. Is there a better place to vent than a public website where a bunch of people who I may not know will read it? I don't think so.
My many anxieties surrounding the new and upcoming chapters in my life have been rapidly rising with each week that goes by. I'm telling you, they're going up at a nearly exponential rate. Which is inconceivably rapid. All these new worries in my mind keep coming in and building on each other, over and over. It's like there's a freakin city being built out of anxiety in my mind.
That's an exaggeration, but I think you get it. I'm stressed right now. Ok.
The grand majority of these worries are stemming from thoughts about what's going to happen in the next year. I worry a lot about the future, and this year will be perhaps the greatest transitional period of my entire life. As a graduating high school student, I find myself wondering a certain thought often: How am I going to transition from a kid to an adult?
The first step in this growing up process, and our main topic of the post, is to get into a post-secondary institution. High school is for goofy little kids, but universities and colleges are for sophisticated adults who have an idea of who they want to be when they're 40 years old.
Sounds about right.
Anyways, this is just step #1 to becoming a mature adult in society, and the stresses begin to pile up straight off the bat. First up, you have to do some totally overwhelming research to figure out what post- secondary schools to apply for - lame. Then, you apply - what a drag. Then comes the waiting part, where each day that passes you doubt the pedigree of your application more and more. All of this stress, and you haven't got into a school yet! Wow!
I have not got into my first choice post-secondary school yet, and it's beginning to weigh on me. A few of my closest friends have already been accepted, and as the days pass by I find myself worrying that I must have done something wrong on the application, and that I'm not going to get in. Man, the waiting game sucks. It's probably the least entertaining game in existence. Actually, no. That title belongs to American Football.
Even getting into a post-secondary institution comes with more fun anxiety. My plan for my first year is to live on campus, which, as much as it appeals to me to get out of my house, also scares me. I live in a small house, so I've always been very close proximity-wise to the rest of my family. While this is the reason why I need to move out during my time at post-secondary school, it is also the root of my anxieties regarding on-campus living. I have never lived by myself, or really even had my own space, so it's difficult to imagine being alone. I don't know how it's going to go, and that really freaks me out. That being said, I'm still going to jump in with both feet and see how it goes! Hey, worst comes to worst I get super homesick and cry myself to sleep every night. That's not too bad at all....
So I looked it up, and apparently crying can 'improve your mood' so the joke's on all of you. Yeah, maybe I am going to cry myself to sleep every night next year, but at least I'll be outrageously happy while I do it!
Suckers.
I've been trying to distract myself a lot lately, and it has resulted in me watching criminal amounts of TV shows. Yesterday, I watched 9 episodes of one show and 2 episodes of another. It was a very productive day for me.
Unfortunately, all those distractions go away the moment that you lie down to go to sleep. I don't know if this is just me, but as I try to fall asleep, I am most vulnerable to anxious thoughts entering my mind. There just isn't anything else for me to turn my attention to, y'know? This results in me frequently ending the day feeling worried and stressed out. #killingit
However, I'm not going to end this post all stressed out and worried! Because that would be lame!
To begin our conclusion, I'd like to apologize to my father. In my last post, I may have mentioned that this past January was a very dull and lifeless month. That it was like 'a block of cement', in fact. Well, my dad actually had his birthday in January, so it was less of a lifeless month than I thought. Instead of a solid block of cement type of month, it was probably more like a wet cement type of month. Anyways, sorry dad. Happy super-belated birthday.
Thank you for reading all the way through and listening to me express my feelings. Writing this post helped me acknowledge and accept some anxieties that I've been having recently, so I'm glad I wrote it. Most importantly though, I hope you enjoyed it!
Also, the first step to becoming a mature adult in society isn't actually attending a post-secondary institution. This is a big secret, but the real first step is actually watching the movie 'Grown Ups' with Adam Sandler. That movie will teach you everything you need to know about adulthood. Trust me.
Thanks for reading!
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